I wanted to make sure you didn't miss my piece on the Top Ten Rugby Movies of All Time (that may not have all that much or even anything to do with rugby). Spoiler alert: "Invictus" is number one. I know. Give it a read or I'll make you watch that new Madonna movie about how cool Wallis Simpson was.

Coming later this week, possibly tomorrow: part III in my series on "How To Cheat At Rugby." I will teach you how to effectively throw a forward pass which, technically, is against the rules as well as the spirit of the game. It's also something that happens all the time, and there's no reason why you shouldn't have the same advantages the professionals do.

After that, I'll start my series on how to get fit for rugby. We'll focus on specific exercises that will allow you to train for the demands rugby imposes on you, including the first piece on the "thirty second rule." What is that, you may ask? Stay tuned to find out.

The 2011-12 Heineken Cup wrapped up its pool play matches this weekend, and as we wipe the mud and sweat out of our eyes (someone should clean those barrooms more aggressively), we begin to get a clearer picture of the players who had the biggest impact on their clubs, and who will help guide them to knockout-stage success. Luckily for us, these players also fit into easily recognizable sports tropes: the Old Pro, the Islander Transplant, and the Fresh-Faced Coach's Son.

Ronan O'Gara (the Old Pro): The Irish flyhalf is 34 years old, which, in accelerated professional rugby time, means he should have retired years ago. And yet he led Munster to an undefeated run through the top competition in Europe, scoring a staggering 91 points in 6 matches, including 21 penalty kicks and 2 drop-goals. This is also the part where I'm bound by tradition to say "and he shows no signs of slowing down," which is not, strictly speaking, true: he didn't start for Ireland during the RWC 2011, and he might not start for them in the Six Nations. The Men in Green have, however, been by a string of injuries in the backline (not least of which to captain Brian O'Driscoll), so O'Gara will see lots of playing time at the very least.

Timoci Matanavou (the Islander Transplant): as the more observant of you may have noticed already, Stade Toulousain's star winger is not French but Fijian (which the more observant of you may have noticed is hardly rare for French rugby). Matanavou is, however, a French rugby success story, as his strong performance on the Fiji sevens team in 2007-8 led to Mont de Marsan's signing him. Manatanavou played for three years with Mont de Marsan (one in Top 14, two in D2), and his 19 tries in 25 matches in 2010-11 brought the big boys to his door. Matanavou has repaid Toulouse's faith in him by scoring 7 tries in 5 2011-12 Heineken Cup matches, with two each against Quins, Connacht, and Gloucester. That's right: three multiple-try matches against the best clubs in Europe. And he's 27, which means he still has a few more years of high productivity left. But not as many as....

Owen Farrell (the Fresh-Faced Coach's Son): you might be forgiven some skepticism if I were to tell you that one of the highest-impact players in the Heineken Cup this season is the 20-year-old son of the coach of one of the clubs. Anybody who has played any type of organized team sport would be skeptical about the lad's abilities. But Saracens coach Andy Farrell's boy Owen is the real deal: he's scored 83 points in 6 Heineken Cup matches (second only to O'Gara), leading the Sarries to a 5-1 record and a spot in the quarter-finals. Farrell's sterling play for the Sarries (and his dad) has also led to England calling him up for the 2012 Six Nations, suggesting he's got a long, storied career ahead of him.

The weekend of January 14-16 was the fifth of six rounds in the Heineken Cup competition, meaning we now have a relatively clear picture of who will advance to the knockout stage. For those of you who don't know, the Heineken Cup's playoff structure works like this: eight clubs advance to the quarter-finals - the winners of each of the 6 pools are clubs 1 through 6, ranked according to the total number of points they earned (don't ask; that's a whole can of worms we don't have space for here), plus the two top runners-up. As of right now, those clubs are:

1) Munster (20 points, 5-0 record). There's really no question here: the Irish club pounded Castres Olympique 26-10 before a home crowd of over 25,000 to seal their lead over Pool 1. Castres falls to last place with a 1-4 record, while Northampton's 29-17 victory over Scarlets in Llanelli brings the Saints and the Scarlets even at 2-3 and putting both out of the running for the knockout stage.

2) Leinster (20, 4-1). This Irish club likewise put themselves out of reach in Pool 3 with a 23-16 victory over the Warriors in Glasgow, giving the Scottish club a record of 2-1-2 and putting them out of the knockout running as well. Montpellier beat Bath 24-22 at home to move the French club into third place with a 1-2-2 record, while the English club slides into the basement with a 1-4 record.

3) Ulster (19, 4-1). Notice a pattern yet? If you're planning on betting on the upcoming Six Nations tournament, I'd go green. Granted, Pool 4 is still up for grabs between Ulster, Clermont, and, possibly, Leicester, but the Irish club pounded the Tigers 41-7 at Ravenhill, dropping the English club to a record of 3-2 and only 12 points. Luckily for all three, the fourth club in this pool is Aironi, who gave Clermont a nice juicy 82-0 loss in Monza, leaving the Italian club winless and possibly giving the French club the points it needs to get into the playoffs.

4) Toulouse (18, 4-1). Pool 6 is also still up for grabs, but the defending Heineken champs went a long way towards claiming their knockout spot with a 24-3 home victory over pool doormat Connacht. The Quins are not giving up so easily, though, beating Gloucester 20-14 at the Stoop and dropping Gloucester's record to 2-3 and out of knockout contention.

5) Saracens (18, 4-1). The Sarries have a firm grip on the top of Pool 5, beating Biarritz 20-16 at home, dropping the Basques to a 2-3 record and effectively ending their playoff hopes. Ospreys destroyed Benetton Treviso at Swansea 44-17, giving the Welsh club a 2-1-2 record and dropping the Italians to 1-1-3 and last place.

6) Edinburgh (17, 4-1). Finally, there's Pool 2, which is still very much up for grabs. Edinburgh won a tough one 27-24 in Paris against Racing Metro, putting the Scottish club in first place for the moment and dropping the French club to 1-4 and last place with 8 points. Edinburgh plays London Irish at Murrayfield next week, giving them a slight advantage over....

7) Cardiff (17, 4-1). The Blues, who also won an away match against the Exiles 22-15 to put them in an effective tie with Edinburgh at the top of Pool 2. They'll be hosting Racing Metro next week, and Cardiff has to at least win to advance to the knockout stages. Although - in all probability - both Edinburgh and Cardiff will playing on the road in the quarter-finals, even if they both win big, as the top four clubs get home-field advantage.

8) Harlequins (16, 4-1). The Quins will likewise have to beat Connacht in Ireland next week to advance to the knockout stage. If they lose, they'll probably lose their spot to....

9) ASM Clermont Auvergne (16, 3-2). The French club hosts Ulster in what is sure to be the match of the weekend (all the other clubs are playing to maintain their position, which is exciting, but not in the same way). A big victory could give Clermont first place and a guaranteed spot in the knockout stage. A close victory, a draw, or a loss could knock the French club out of the playoffs.

The fun part, of course, is that the quarter-finals don't start until April, so we'll have a few months to wait with nothing but the Six Nations and premiership play to occupy our attentions. So cruel.

Aviva Premiership:

Nothing is guaranteed in this life, least of all the outcome of a matchup between two professional sports clubs. This truism is doubtless cold comfort to Harlequins fans after the mighty Quins 24-3 road stomping received from Northampton. The Quins are, however, still atop the table with an 11-2 record, while the win gives the Saints an 8-5 record, meaning they stay in third place. The Quins' nearest challenger, the Saracens, crept closer with a 26-19 home victory over Bath, giving the Sarries a 10-1-2 record and keeping them in second place, while the loss drops Bath to 10th place and a 5-8 record. Leicester likewise secured their hold on fourth place with a 29-11 home victory over London Wasps, giving the Tigers a 7-1-5 record, while the Wasps stay in 11th place with a 4-9 record.

The middle of the table, however, saw yet another reshuffle, as London Irish's 21-19 home victory over Sale moves the Exiles into fifth place with a 6-1-6 record, with the loss dropping the Sharks to 7th place and a record of 6-7 and 30 points. Exeter carved out a tough 16-10 road win against Newcastle, moving the Chiefs into 6th place with a record of 6-7 and 31 points, while the loss keeps the Falcons firmly in last place with a 2-1-10 record. Finally, a 21-15 home victory for Worcester over Gloucester allowed the Warriors to move into 9th place with a record of 5-1-7 and 25 points, while dropping Gloucester to 8th place with a record of 5-1-7 and 29 points.

RaboDirect Pro12:

By contrast, Leinster won a tough 23-19 road victory against Cardiff to stay in first place in the Pro12 with an 11-2 record, while the Blues drop to 7th place with a 6-6 record. The Ospreys lost a 21-20 nail-biter in Newport to the Dragons, but managed to hang on to second place with a 9-1-3 record, while Newport Gwent used the points to climb to 10th place with a 3-1-8 record despite the loss. Munster's 29-11 home victory over Benetton Treviso moved the Irish club into third place with an 8-5 record, while dropping the Italians into 8th place with a 6-7 record. Glasgow also had a tough week, losing 16-14 to the Scarlets in Llanelli, dropping the Warriors into fourth place with a 7-2-4 record while pushing the Scarlets into fifth place with a 7-1-5 record.

Ulster had a good week, pounding Edinburgh 42-20 in Murrayfield to move the Irish club into 6th place with a 7-6 record while dropping the Scottish club to a record of 4-1-8, keeping them in 9th place. Aironi found someone they could beat; granted, it was fellow cellar-dweller Connacht, but their 20-6 home victory brings the Italian club's record to 3-10 and 14 points, while dropping the Irish club's record to 3-10 and 17 points, meaning that if Aironi can somehow beat Munster next month and Connacht loses to Cardiff (okay, the latter is much more probable than the former, but still), they might be able to climb out of last place. Hope springs eternal, borne aloft sometimes on a heron's wings.

Top 14:

When it comes, to beatdowns, however, let us turn our attention Stade Ernest Wallon, where Toulouse absolutely destroyed Lyon 51-10, show just how far the distance is from the top of the table to the bottom. The victory gives Toulouse a 12-1-2 record and a continued hold on first place, while Lyon drops to last place with a 3-2-9 record. Clermont Auvergne continued to provide a healthy challenge to Toulouse, beating Toulon 25-19 at home to keep Clermont in second place with an 11-1-3 record, while Toulon drops to a tie for third place with Castres with a record of 8-2-5 and 40 points. For its part, Castres lost in Paris 38-21 to Stade Francais, giving the Parisians a record of 8-1-6 and bringing them into 5th place and that much closer to the top tier of clubs.

As for the rest, well.... Some are admittedly not that far behind. Racing Metro drew at home with Perpignan, bringing the suburban Paris club into 6th place with a 7-1-7 record and 36 points, while Perpignan stayed in 10th place with a 5-1-9 record. Agen's 15-6 home loss to Biarritz dropped them to 7th place with a record of 8-1-6 and 36 points, thanks in part to the vagaries of the French scoring system, while pushing Biarritz up to a tie for 12th place with a record of 4-2-9 and 23 points. Biarritz is tied with Bayonne, who lost at home 27-20 to Bordeaux-Begles, keeping Bordeaux in 9th place with a 7-7 record. Finally, Montpellier won 23-9 at Brive, keeping Montpellier in 8th place with a 7-1-7 record, while the loss keeps Brive in 11th place with a 3-1-11 record.

The premierships will skip the rest of January, so I'll be bringing you Heineken Cup updates, as well as new about the Six Nations.